When I was younger and I dreamed of being a mum, I pictured my perfectly dressed baby joining me on coffee mornings and sitting beautifully on my lap whilst I sipped a still hot cup of tea. I was of course really well rested as my baby slept all night long. Reality? Yes, I’m still sat in a coffee shop, but I probably can’t remember the last time I’ve washed my hair, Edie has decided to get more of her lunch down her t-shirt than in her mouth and that blissful cup of tea is tepid at best.
It’s not the most glam job in the world. You can just ignore Kim Kardashian strolling out in her heels, teeny tiny shorts and perfect hair on the way to get a £20 smoothie, with North wearing an outfit costing more than my car. Just ignore it!
Truth is, unless you’re a parent to a sticky faced baby, the things we do on a daily basis is no doubt seen as disgusting. But, there comes a point where you don’t even think about it, it’s second nature.
16 Disgusting Things Mums Do Every Day
1. Smell your babies bum. I don’t mean a quick sniff, I’m talking a full deep inhale with your face pressed up against their nappy. Not only that, if you’re not sure… you then pass the baby round asking opinions!
2. Headlice. Enough said.
3. Don’t know what to do if your kid doesn’t like the food they’ve just put in their mouth? Just tell them to spit their chewed up food into your hand, problem solved.
4. Kids food is actually pretty great, I love a good rusk! So picking at leftovers isn’t overly gross… but then you make the mistake of putting a soggy half eaten bite into your mouth… you die a little inside.
5. Sharing drinks with your kid only to then look into the bottle and see a new world floating in it.
6. Have deep and meaningful conversations with other mums about your child’s poop.
7. I haven’t done this one, but I know others that have. Ever heard of a nasal aspirator? It’s a posh name for snot sucker. I’ll let you work out what it does.
8. Dummy dropped on the floor? No worries, I’ll just shove it in my mouth to clean it.
9. Baby finger nails are so teeny tiny and even baby scissors seem so big in comparison! Sooooooo just bite them!
10. Picture this. You’re just about to walk out the door. Baby dressed, bag packed – it’s going to be a good day! Then, your baby pukes down your top. You could put the baby and bag down, go and get changed… or you could just wipe the sick off and give your top a little sniff.
11. Talking of baby sick, ever had to catch it with your bare hands? It leaves you feeling both disgusted but also quite impressed at your quick reaction.
12. I’m guilty of being lazy with baby nappies. If I change her nappy upstairs, I throw it out of her room into the hall and it’s the start of nappy mountain. My husband just reminded me of the time he found one in the washing basket.
13. Don’t have a tissue? No worries, just wipe your baby’s nose with your sleeve. Or better yet, just use your hand.
14. Genuinely forget the last time you had a shower or washed your hair. Baby wipes are a godsend.
15. Sing or chat to your baby as they sit on the floor watching you on the toilet.
16. Smell your baby’s milky baby breath.
I’m sure there are so many more, especially as babies become toddlers. But there you have it, the beauty of parenthood.
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